Driving Away From My Husband January 29, 2011

It was a day that I had been dreading from the minute I learned he would be leaving...Driving away and leaving Dustin behind. There were so many thoughts going through my mind. How am I going to make it through this year? How long will it be before I see him again? Will he be okay? How will I do this without the physical presence of my partner? Many things, but what I neglected to think of was what he was thinking as well. Dustin describes deployments as a switch he flips on and off. Once we left, he flipped his switch to Soldier. Initially I didn't consider how difficult this was going to be for him. He was leaving his three week old baby and wife behind, for a country who doesn't care about him at all. I didn't think that every night he would be laying his head down, not on his own pillow, but on a very small cot, all by himself. He would be thinking, "I hope we don't get mortared tonight, I would really like to sleep". Before we left him in Texas, we had such a wonderful day and I had almost forgotten what would be taking place later that evening. Fortunately for us, we have a wonderful family who were right by our side during this incredibly trying time. After the longest and most emotional five hour drive of my life, we were home and reality sunk in that I was going to be alone for the next year. And then something happened...my mom walked and reminded me that I wasn't alone, I had my family and they would get me through. There are so many emotions you have as a new mom, but those were multiplied ten fold when Dustin left.

However, now that I have been on this roller coaster ride for 7 and a half months now, I'm starting to adjust and just take things as they come. I know the only reason I have made it through is because I have the most amazing husband on the planet, who, even though he is 7400 miles away, can still make me feel like I'm not alone. He always reminds me that he is available whenever I need to talk. So for anyone who thinks they are alone in something, take a look around, because 9 times out of 10, your mom or someone you love and respect will be there for support when you feel like you are going to collapse. I would say that the most important thing I am "still learning", never be afraid to ask for help. So, stop, take a breath, and remember...THIS TOO SHALL PASS!